Three Baldwins shows in and my secret is out: cameras recognize my latent insanity.
How might this be clear to the layperson? Take the first set of photos taken of us on stage by PIT conspirator Eric Michael Pearson. In it is this:
You might say something is up. Yeah, I was at first playing a baby driving a monorail, who then changed into an angry teen driving a monorail. But is that any excuse for this???:
Ha, ha, you chuckle. Just because you look like a feverish mad scientist from some cartoon, eyes spinning furiously in their sockets, independently of one another like so many freaky lizards, that proves nothing – ! You were acting!
But, you see, this happens in my normal life all the time. I’ll cut to the chase by giving you what I believe to be the defining photo of my adulthood. Setup: New Year’s at one of my favorite New Year’s event in Brooklyn: the blowing of the steam whistles on the Pratt Campus. Everyone is having a great time. Right?
That’s my sister, her husband, my good friend Megan in the background. Yay! A New Year, a new life, let us celebrate! But, wait, that’s me on the left. Let’s check in, shall we?
HOLY G_D! What the FADGE is happening to me? And just out of frame to my right? Am I absolutely ecstatic? Or scared out of my gourd?
Well. You know how snakes unhinge their jaws? I like to think of my pose as me attempting to swallow the antelope of life.
And do you remember how certain Native American tribes didn’t want pictures taken because they feared cameras would steal their souls? Seeing stuff like this, I fear for cameras.